MANY VOICES, ONE CALL

Many Voices, One Call is SUNY Schenectady's student-centered podcast for courageous, honest, open, and unscripted conversations about all those things that move us, make us curious, and concern us -- as students, faculty, staff, or simple, as people!

All Episodes

MANY VOICES, ONE CALL

Many Voices - One Call: Season Two/Episode Four: Parenting as a Student: What Student Parents Need

May 16, 2022 • Season 2 • Episode 4

Nationally, about one in every four community college students is a parent. Most of them are single mothers, and more than half are women of color. Compared to their non-parenting peers, these students are performing exceptionally well. Student parents are more likely to have a GPA of 3.5 or higher than students without dependents -- an accomplishment especially remarkable if one considers that they have on average only 10 hours left for sleep and homework, once class, work, and childcare is done.
Student parents are also, unfortunately, nearly twice as likely to leave college without completing their degrees.
In this episode, host Babette Faehmel is joined by student parents Amira Singletary and Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih, to discuss what students with small children need to succeed and complete college. Special guests of honor are the smallest members of the Singletary family, Aliyah, Ameen, and Amillian.

For further information and statistics, see:

"Busy with Purpose: Lessons for Education and Policy Leaders from Returning Student Parents." Contreras-Mendez, Susana; Cruse, Lindsey Reichlin – Institute for Women's Policy Research, 2021

Did You know?

A narrated Power Point presentation about Financial Aid for Student Parents, by Mark A. Bessette, Assistant Dean of Financial Aid & Access

For information on the Integrated Laboratory Preschool at SUNY Schenectady, visit the website and see below:

The process to enroll is:
1. Call 518-381-1455 and speak with "Justina", the Head Teacher,
2. Schedule a visit, and
3. complete application paperwork.
The hours are 8am to 3pm.
The MONTHLY rates are:
- Student FT $500 ( now eligible for DSS)
- Staff $600
- Community $700 (now eligible for DSS)
- Part time All (4 hours or less a day) $300

Special thanks to Tamara B. Calhoun, M.S. Ed., Tenured Professor, Early Childhood Education; Mark Bessette, Assistant Dean of Financial Aid & Access; and Stacy M. McIlduff, Vice President of Development & External Affairs.

If you are a current student at SUNY Schenectady and interested in co-hosting, please contact Dr. Babette Faehmel at faehmeb@sunysccc.edu

The views voiced on this episode reflect the lived experiences and uncensored opinions of the guests; they do not necessarily capture the full diversity of attitudes within a larger community, nor do they express an official view of SUNY Schenectady.

Babette Faehmel, Host: 00:08

Many Voices, One Call is the podcast you didn't know you wanted. It's space for courageous, honest, open and unscripted conversations about diversity, equity, inclusion, teaching, learning, and all the other things that move us. It is where students, faculty staff, alumni, leadership, and community guests reinvent higher education one episode at a time. I am your host, Babette Faehmel, history professor and coordinator of the Student Mentoring Program. Jennifer Malave, our student co-host, has graduated. If you are a student and you like this podcast and you are interested in co-hosting, please let us know. Contact information is in the show notes. So today we will be talking about the very important topic of being a parent and being a student—being a student while being a parent and being a parent while being a student. And our guests today are first of all Amira Singletary and Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih. And in addition, we have some particular guests of honor: namely Aliyah, Ameen, and Amillian. Did I say that right? Did I get it right?

Amillian, Guest: 01:20

Amillian.

Babette Faehmel: 01:21

No?

Amira Singletary, Guest: 01:22

Amillian and Aliyah.

Babette Faehmel: 01:23

Amillian. Okay, all right. Okay, fine. Sorry—who are the children of Amira Singletary. So, we will all probably have a lot to talk about in terms of moms being in college and mothers being students. And it's a really important topic because I didn't really know that one in four community college students is a parent. It's a pretty big number. So, 26 percent of community college students. 70 percent of those are women. And they also have a record of doing exceptionally well when it comes to GPAs. So, they are more likely to have a GPA of higher than 3.5 than students who are not parents. But also have a lot of obstacles because they have to juggle childcare and, well, their homework and such things. So that's basically what we wanna talk about today. So, let's start here. First of all, can you say maybe a few more things about yourself, on what got you to SUNY Schenectady and how many more classes you think you will have to finish before graduating, and what are some of the highlights of all of this and your life?

Amira Singletary: 02:42

You go first.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 02:43

Me first?

Babette Faehmel: 02:44

Okay, Amira Tracy.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 02:45

Okay, I’ll go first. So... Originally, I graduated from high school in 2017, and I took a class right out of high school, and I failed it. And then I took a break, and then I ended up having my son in 2019. And then, while I was pregnant, I realized, you know, you got to figure out your life. You got to figure out what you want to do in life. So that's when I figured out. You know, let me go back to school and see how it goes. So, I started off with one class and I did... I got an A in it, and I was like, ‘I'm good at school,’ like okay. So, then I started, I took two classes, and I just kept building it up and I kept getting these A's and I was like, ‘wow, I'm doing this, and I have a child, and this is like I'm doing good.’ I was, like, shocked. But—yeah. So then—now I’m in my second year, and I have one semester left.

Babette Faehmel: 03:47

Okay, wow! You were really on track.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 03:50

Thank you

Babette Faehmel: 03:51

Wow. Overachiever. Okay, cool. So, the child who—like, can you say more?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 03:58

Yes, his name's Amarion Stevens-Salih, and he is three years old, and he was born January 20, 2019. And he's amazing and he's super smart, and he learns with me. Literally. (Laughs.) I remember I had an accounting class online and we had like a textbook that we had to read. We were basically teaching ourselves because it was online only. So I would have the textbook read out loud—and I do my homework at night when he's asleep. And he would wake up and he was learning it faster than I was, I swear. He was like repeating everything, and I was like so confused because it's math and it's online and he was like almost teaching me. Yeah...

Babette Faehmel: 04:45

So, and it surprised you that you were getting A's. Did—? So, were you like—? Was your memory of yourself as a high school student not as an A person?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 04:53

Oh no, not even close.

Babette Faehmel: 04:55

Okay, all right.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 04:57

I really—. In high school I really did not like school—especially by, like, senior year I was only going to school enough so that I could participate in sports. And so that I could graduate. That's it. But, yeah, I had went through, like, a partying phase as, like, a teenager and I was just really over school. But having my son literally changed my life completely. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, my whole mindset just switched. It was so crazy.

Babette Faehmel: 05:33

I want to come back to that because that's totally fascinating. But before we do that—Amira Singletary, what about you?

Amira Singletary: 05:40

I graduated high school in 1993. So, I hadn't been back to school until I came to SCCC for my culinary degree. I was working a lot—a whole lot. And then I got married, and I got kids. And then I got a divorce. And then I needed something to do. And so, I decided I would go to do. And so, I decided I would go to college. And it's not easy at all. It's very difficult when you want to make sure that they're okay. And they all go to different schools. And I have to make sure he's on the bus. She takes—. Aaliyah takes Amillian to school while I do my class. And we work it out but it's not easy. I have—I'm not sure how many more classes I have. I think I have one more semester. I'm taking two classes over the summer and then next fall I should be done,

Babette Faehmel: 06:46

Oh, wow. And you changed—you changed programs, right? From culinary?

Amira Singletary: 06:50

Yeah, I changed from—I graduated from the culinary department. I got my culinary degree. And then I had to get new knees. So, I had two total knee replacements, and I made a decision that I'm not giving my knees back to anybody else's business. And so, I decided to switch to nutrition—where I still get to cook—and teach people how to eat healthy meals and prepare myself.

Babette Faehmel: 07:19

Yeah. Is that—? Do you have, like, an idea about what you want to specialize in, like any kind of like area in nutrition? What kind of advice—?

Amira Singletary: 07:29

No.

Babette Faehmel: 07:30

No? All right, okay. Well maybe...

Amira Singletary: 07:35

No.

Babette Faehmel: 07:36

It will come. It will come. So, I can totally see—. So, you said it's not easy, right? It's like there's a lot of stuff to do. First of all, like who helps you with childcare?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 07:48

My mom and my dad.

Babette Faehmel: 07:50

Your mom and your dad.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 07:51

Yeah. That's why I'm in all-night classes, because it just works with their schedule.

Babette Faehmel: 08:01

And how about you, Amira Singletary?

Amira Singletary: 08:04

I had help, but I had to kind of ditch my help. Because the person that I was helping was taking advantage of my help. My children are all in school so it's easy for me to go to school during the time that they're in school. It's just when I have to be at school after 2 o'clock it becomes an issue for me. But I have a friend who lives across the street. Her name is Rebecca. And Rebecca helps me sometimes. But it's difficult to ask for help.

Babette Faehmel: 08:34

Yeah.

Amira Singletary: 08:35

It is. You don't want to burden people with your responsibilities.

Babette Faehmel: 08:39

No, right. So, you both have essentially found, like, a privatized solution to childcare. Did you check out public or did you check out childcare in the community or in the college? Options that you can have there? And that was not attractive?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 09:00

Well, I'm currently on the list for the daycare here. I was supposed to—there was supposed to be an opening for the fall semester. But when I called them, they said no, so I just made my schedule for all online classes.

Babette Faehmel: 09:18

Okay.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 09:19

Yeah, so honestly, he probably won't go to daycare. He probably won't start going until it's time for school and preschool. So, next year. Four years old.

Babette Faehmel: 09:30

So, there’s a waiting list for the preschool?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 09:33

Yeah, for most daycares there's a waiting list.

Amira Singletary: 09:36

But sign him up for pre-K.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 09:38

Yeah, definitely pre-K.

Amira Singletary: 09:40

And that way he'll be in school. And he'll get the ball rolling for you. My kids are too old to go to the program that they have over here, and childcare is expensive.

Babette Faehmel: 09:50

Absolutely.

Amira Singletary: 09:51

It's expensive. I think it's more than my rent and for me to drop them off for a couple of hours—it's just not worth it.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 09:58

Yeah, it's not. I agree.

Babette Faehmel: 09:59

No, I was shocked how expensive it is—and also how long the waiting list is. And, I mean, there are—. Some of the people working in the college, like Nicole Grant, who is a financial literacy advisor, and Mark Bessett, who works in financial aid—and some other people—they gave me like links on, like, the connector coordinator, like, basically a website where you can search for child care. But it's super pricey, and that's shocking. And that seems that also one of the things that I read when I was preparing for this episode was that this is one of the biggest hurdles for students who are parents. And—because it's so costly and then also when you are finding private solutions, it becomes kind of precarious, right? And the next time they fall down...

Amira Singletary: 10:52

For somebody with a baby so young—you can't always depend on those people to take care of your children.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 10:58

Right.

Amira Singletary: 10:59

When I was working and I just had her and—she had a great daycare service. But they would come—we lived in the city—and they would come to pick her up from Brooklyn and they would take her to Queens where she went to school. However, they didn't change her pamper properly. She always had a diaper rash. I sent her food that they never fed her. So, it was just—you can't always depend on them to do what you need them to do.

Babette Faehmel: 11:29

No, absolutely not.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 11:30

I agree. It's very scary trusting people with your child because you know that's your baby. And I've heard the saying that nobody's going to take care of them like their mother. But my mom does a pretty good job. (Laughter.) Yeah. Yeah, but it is very scary. And it's very hard to find someone who's trustworthy. And these daycares that are high ratings and stuff they're over—they're just over the amount that is, like, even... You can't—you can't afford daycare on top of paying for your child's needs and your own needs and juggling work and school. It's impossible, literally. I'm very, very fortunate to have my parents.

Babette Faehmel: 12:15

Yeah, and there's so much juggling involved. And I mean, one of the other things that shocked me when I was reading up on things was that, on average, a student parent has 10 hours per day. After all the work is done, except sleeping and doing homework, right? So, that's 10 hours for sleep and doing the work for your classes. Is that—would you say that that about captures it?

Amira Singletary: 12:43

No.

Babette Faehmel: 12:44

No?

Amira Singletary: 12:45

Not for me.

Babette Faehmel: 12:46

Not for you.

Amira Singletary: 12:47

When I come home, I have to make sure that they bathe. So, everybody gets home between 2 and 4. So, those two hours I'm waiting for everybody to get home and do what they need to do. While they're doing that, I'm making dinner. I was also babysitting three kids. And so, taking care of six kids, having them be quiet, was no easy task. While I try to pay attention to my classes that I'm taking online, try to do my homework, take care of my knees, take care of me. Ten hours—there's no way.

Babette Faehmel: 13:33

I mean plus you have to sleep. (Laughs.)

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 13:36

Sometimes. (Laughter.) I agree it's very, very stressful. Well, I started trying to wake up earlier. Like, I like to wake up, like, an hour before my son does, so I can try to like do something for myself. (Laughs.) Because you know you really do forget to take care of yourself. Yeah, there was a period of time where I didn't take care of myself, and I only took care of him and school, that was it. Like, I didn't take care of myself at all. Like, I stopped doing anything that I liked. I stopped having time to go to, like, the gym, or to go to just outside and be alone or anything. Cause I have him from start to finish and then when I don't have him, I'm in school or at work.

Amira Singletary: 14:24

It's never a break.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 14:25

No, you don't get a break.

Babette Faehmel: 14:27

What do you do now to take care of yourself?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 14:31

That's a good question. (Laughter.) I'm trying to think. Well, I drink a coffee in the morning. I painted my toenails the other day—and scrubbed my feet. Sometimes I do a face mask here and there. (Laughs.) Yeah, it's just, you know, you just try to find time whenever you can for yourself—if you remember to.

Babette Faehmel: 15:00

Just doing things that are just for yourself, where you're not particularly productive or meeting somebody else's needs.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 15:07

Right. Exactly.

Babette Faehmel: 15:08

So, considering how demanding this is, what motivates you? How do you...?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 15:18

My son.

Babette Faehmel: 15:19

Okay. Pointing to the kids.

Amira Singletary: 15:21

They motivate me.

Babette Faehmel: 15:22

Exactly. They. Okay.

Amira Singletary: 15:24

I want them to go to college. I want them to want better for themselves. So hopefully—hopefully—they see me busting my behind doing my homework. They'll want to do this and make something better for themselves.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 15:40

Yeah, I would agree, my son is—. I would say my son is what originally motivated me to come back to school. And then I actually fell in love with coming to school. Cause I found it to be therapeutic, cause I was learning things, and I was reading about myself in textbooks. (Laughs.) I was like, ‘whoa,’ you know? Like, with the conflict management chapter, I was like, ‘oh.’ I was like, ‘okay, some things got to change.’ (Laughs.)

Amira Singletary: 16:10

For me it was sociology. My whole life was in the book. The whole class—not the whole class but a large portion of the class—was about how I grew up. And I was like, ‘this is my whole life in a class.’ It was amazing.

Babette Faehmel: 16:23

That's so cool. Actually, I had a similar experience with women's history. I'm like, ‘yeah, that's me, that's my mom and that's my grandma.’ That's awesome. So, what would you say are strengths that you have because you are a parent who is raising children—or a child—like with help, but not with all the help you need?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 16:51

You learn to figure it out. Like, you learn to figure everything out on your own, you know? You make it happen. Exactly. And you know, as women, as like single, a single mother, single mothers, you know you have to figure it out cause you don't have an option but to do that. So, I think that's what I learned. And I've matured so much, both like just emotionally—just everything. I've matured in so many different aspects. I thought I was an adult before. Like, you know, you say, ‘oh no, I'm an adult now.’ You know, ‘I pay my own bills,’ and this, that and the third—. No. After having my son, I'm just literally a completely different person. Yeah, it's insane.

Babette Faehmel: 17:35

Wow.

Amira Singletary: 17:38

You definitely learn. Like, I've noticed—and I've said this in one of my classes—that when you're a young adult you have a whole lot of knowledge and no experience. You know nothing. You know everything, but you don't—you don't know anything. You know nothing. You know absolutely nothing. And then life kicks you in the butt, and you start learning. Oh, this is what this is. This is why my mother said that. This is why she told me don't do this. This is—yeah. You learn along the way. You definitely learn.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 18:13

And I think that goes back to like the statistic you were talking about too, with—what did you say?

Babette Faehmel: 18:21

The high GPA?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 18:22

The grades. How, like, parents have higher grades than—. It's because—. Well, for me personally, I apply a lot of school—. Because I've gone through my own traumas and life, and you know stuff like that. So now, being a mom and everything, I apply a lot of, like, what I learn into school. In school, like, I—it goes in my brain as real life situations. But as opposed to, like, if I—when I went fresh out of high school, it was like, ‘ehhh,’ you know? ‘Whatever.’ Like, it was like I didn't—. I didn't really have as much—what's the word for it? I would say I didn't have as much empathy as I do now. Yeah, and I didn't have as much life experience because I was just doing whatever I wanted. Yeah, so I think that really impacts the way that I learn and the way that I apply myself to my assignments and stuff. Cause you realize how much it really matters. Yeah, and, you know, being a minority too.

Babette Faehmel: 19:28

You also know that time is this precious commodity, and you cannot waste it. So, there is no, like, browsing through YouTube videos before you do your homework or stuff like that. And you just do it. That makes a lot of sense. What do you guys think about your mom being in college—being a college student?

Child 1: 19:47

It's fun.

Babette Faehmel: 19:48

It's fun? What makes it fun?

Child 2: 19:50

Helping our mom.

Child 1: 19:52

When she's in her classes and I get to learn about the stuff that she's learning about.

Babette Faehmel: 19:56

Oh my god. That's so cool.

Amira Singletary: 19:58

Yeah, he—. When we would go into school during a pandemic, he would sit with me through my whole class—my cooking classes. He would sit there, and he would listen. It was like he was in college. And I'm sitting there. I'm looking at him. I'm supposed to be paying attention. And I'm looking at him look at my class. (Laughter.)

Babette Faehmel: 20:24

How about you?

Amira Singletary: 20:29

What did y'all—? You all over the place? (Laughter.) What do you think? How do you feel?

Child 3: 20:37

Good. (Laughter.)

Amira Singletary: 20:38

No, how do you feel about me being a college student?

Child 3: 20:43

I like it.

Amira Singletary: 20:44

Why?

Child 3: 20:45

Because... you're finding teachers in class.

Amira Singletary: 20:53

Yeah, she—they like my teachers too.

Babette Faehmel: 20:54

Oh yeah?

Child 3: 20:55

They're super pretty.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 20:57

Oh, that's so nice.

Babette Faehmel: 21:00

That's nice.

Child 3: 21:02

(Crosstalk) My beautiful mom.

Babette Faehmel: 21:08

That's great. I mean, that's the ideal thing, right? Because you're doing this for them and for your future as a family, and this is obviously working? So that's good.

Amira Singletary: 21:25

We'll see how it works. I got about 10 more years before I find out.

Babette Faehmel: 21:33

So, I mean, because—. I mean those are amazing, like, strengths that parents obviously acquire just because you have to master time management. And because you know why you are doing this... Oh no, like, you have to—. Like, if—even if you are trying, like, you will fail, right? I mean, who is good at this? Always? Right? So, yeah.

Amira Singletary: 21:57

I'm horrible with my time.

Babette Faehmel: 21:58

You're horrible with time management?

Amira Singletary: 21:59

I'm horrible. (Laughter.) You might not think so, but I am.

Child 2: 22:06

You're sometimes the first one on your class.

Amira Singletary: 22:09

I am the first one in my class.

Child 1: 22:11

You're saying is, ‘I'd rather be early than late.’ No, ‘early is on time. On time is late.’

Amira Singletary: 22:19

That's right.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 22:20

That's a good motto to live by.

Amira Singletary: 22:23

Because it's true. You get there on time, you miss out on whatever you would have to do.

Babette Faehmel: 22:30

Exactly. And that's a great work ethic, right? So, what do you say, though—because I mean the statistics also show that the students who are parenting are more in danger of having to drop out, just because of mostly childcare issues. How family—oh well, not family friendly—but how friendly to parenting students is college?

Amira Singletary: 22:59

It’s not.

Babette Faehmel: 23:00

What would you say? It’s not?

Amira Singletary: 23:01

It's not. It's not friendly, it's not parent-friendly at all.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 23:05

I haven't experienced anything that I would say is parenting friendly.

Babette Faehmel: 23:10

Oh my god. Wow.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 23:11

I mean, like—. (Laughter.) I mean it sounds terrible. No, but I mean like—. I think schooling in general, and stuff like that, I don't think it originally was made for mothers...

Amira Singletary: 23:26

Or for older people.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 23:27

Right. So, I think you know there's still a lot of work to do in that aspect. You know, I think it's great that they have the daycare here, but I mean, I haven't had the pleasure of enjoying it yet. So, I can't really—. (Laughs.) Yeah so, I can't say much. And I'm especially nervous about, like, transferring to—whether it be Saint Rose or UAlbany—because they don't have, like, any childcare. And then I'm gonna be having to—who's to say they have the same amount of online classes as we do? And then I'm gonna be having to drive out there as well and all that. But, yeah, hopefully by then I'll have something figured out. (Laughs.)

Babette Faehmel: 24:12

Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's kind of what I read—was that none of the student parents who were interviewed by the studies that I read said college is made for parenting students. Like, it's just not. They say it's almost—. I mean, it's just this traditional student model which doesn't even exist and then, like they are required, or they are expected to participate in extracurriculars, and co-curricular activities and they never can. And then they don't—become uneligible for scholarships and stuff like that. So...

Amira Singletary: 24:43

Even the traditional students—the younger students who don't have children—they work like two or three jobs. They can't commit their time to anything either. It's very difficult.

Babette Faehmel: 24:56

Yeah. And that's probably why those students are saying even though community colleges are still not parent-friendly, they are better than what else what other? Things that they have experienced. Because I mean we just have more diversity here, and we have like commuter students, working students, older students, returning students, veteran students and whatnot. But still, I mean, obviously we can always do better, right? I mean, what makes you—. What gives you that feel that this is not a family friendly or not a—I shouldn't say family-friendly. Why do I keep saying family? Well, because, like, everybody makes their own families, right? No matter what kind of model it takes. But what would give you the feel that this is a place that acknowledges and realizes and acts on this being also for students who are parents?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 25:47

Well—actually, let me correct myself. I have had good experiences with being a parent because, like, my professors have worked with me. But when it comes to—I was just thinking about childcare. I've had very good experience. I haven't had a negative experience with a professor yet when it came to like, you know, ‘hey, you know something's going on with my son, I won't have it at this time. Can I have like a little bit of an extension?’ And I've never been told no, I also turn my assignments in, like, always. So. But I would say—I'm sorry, what was the question before I go off on a tangent?

Babette Faehmel: 26:25

Oh no, that wasn't a tangent. Okay. You said you had so far mostly good experience and I was saying what would make a college a place for students who are parenting?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 26:36

I would say easier access to childcare, definitely. Like, even just something like—. I was thinking about this in the shower the other day, it’s so funny. (Laughs.) I was like, ‘what if, like, you know, what if there was like just a program actually in the school?’ Just like—. Like—cause I used to go to Crunch Fitness and there was a daycare in Crunch Fitness, and I loved it because I could go and bring my son with me, even though, like, it was just an hour. But I was like, you know, he's right there, I can just look in and see him as I'm doing my workout. So you know, it would be nice to, like, be able to, like, be a traditional student, come in, like, during the daytime and bring my son with me and like just put him in, like, a room that I know is right here (Laughs.) and I can just, you know, run over there really quick and be in my class.

Babette Faehmel: 27:24

And isn't it funny? I mean it's not funny because I mean if they have that at crunch fitness, and if they have it there—and I realize it's a private business and they are like differently funded but yeah. Going to the gym is not as essential than going to college. Right? So, it's actually, you know, I was just earlier—. Earlier I was talking to one of the two Stacy from the foundation and were talking about, like, how, how amazing it would be if we could have drop off like just for an hour or two. Even if, like, students who are still thinking about coming to college. They are going on a tour, right? Looking around, and then they can drop off their child for an hour.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 28:08

Oh, yeah, that would pull me in.

Babette Faehmel: 28:10

Yeah, exactly, right? And then you would come back. You realize, ‘okay, this place gets me and my needs.’ And we can do that. And I mean, we do have the availability, this broad availability of online classes—and if I hear you correctly you see that as super, super important, right? Flexibility and scheduling and stuff. Yeah. And also, I have to say, when I was reaching out to Tammy Calhoun, who is in, I think she's the director of the early childhood program—and, Tammy, I'm so sorry if I got your title wrong. But she was so helpful—and, like, all kinds of other people were super helpful—sending me the links that you can find somewhere on the College website. And so, it's like the information is there. You have to go and search for it. And I found out that the tab that says parent on student activities and student services is not for students who are parenting.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 29:11

It’s for the parents of the students.

Babette Faehmel: 29:12

...Of the students. And it's like, I'm, like, ‘how useful is that?’ So, I think lots of things I think we can easily do better on. But just so—. The reason why I'm saying that is, I'm going to put all these links in the show notes for this episode, so just that they are there right in one place. And then Mark Bessett from Financial Aid made a whole narrated PowerPoint on how you can have your cost-of-living expenses for childcare incorporated, kind of like calculated, into your financial aid package

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 29:48

Wait, what?

Babette Faehmel: 29:49

So—yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, that is apparently that is possible.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 29:53

Oh wow.

Babette Faehmel: 29:54

But like most students who are parents who were interviewed by researchers said that they had no idea.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 30:03

Yeah, I never knew that.

Babette Faehmel: 30:04

Yeah, so apparently you can—. I think you have to fill out forms for cost-of-living expenses and then they get adjusted to reflect the cost that you have for childcare and then that directly affects your financial aid.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 30:17

Oh, I need that.

Babette Faehmel: 30:18

So, this is why we need the narrated PowerPoint.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 30:20

Yeah. They don't tell us these things.

Amira Singletary: 30:22

Oh no, they don't.

Babette Faehmel: 20:23

Well, maybe because—. Well, I mean being a parent...

Amira Singletary: 30:27

Because aid is not directed towards parents. It's directed towards kids fresh out of high school.

Babette Faehmel: 30:30

Exactly. It's like still—. Probably the traditional college student is still a model in our head—us who are working in higher ed—and it's just not the reality.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 30:45

No, it's not.

Babette Faehmel: 30:46

And then also, being a parent, it's a—. I mean you don't wear it on your sleeve. Maybe we should? I mean you don't have a button, ‘student parent.’

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 30:55

Right.

Babette Faehmel: 30:56

So, it's—. And it goes unsaid, but yeah, sometimes you have to be proactive in your advising and counseling, I guess.

Amira Singletary: 31:05

We're left out of a lot of things. I had an experience where I took my kids with me to the library. My children, they're very well behaved. (Babette agrees.) They are very well behaved. I took them with me to the library and it was fine one day. And then we went back the next day and the librarian came over to me and she was like, you know, ‘unfortunately—I don't want you to think that, you know, that I don't want your children here—but it's school policy that we can't have children on campus, no matter how good they behave.’

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 31:40

I've heard that. I work at the library and just two nights or three days a week. But yeah, I've been told that children aren't allowed in the library. But it confused me because there's children's books in the library too. And I take—I get books and I, like, bring them to my son, you know, so he can read them. So, I was just—. I don't know, it didn't make much sense to me.

Babette Faehmel: 32:06

There used to be a class on child literature.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 32:09

Yeah.

Babette Faehmel: 32:11

Oh, yeah. No, I mean it's a big issue. So, it's an insurance policy issue which would be hard to change. So that is it. But you are absolutely right. If there is no, like, facility or like some office where you drop off your children, then they are going to be with you. Or you are not going to be here. I mean, that's a that's the alternative.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 32:40

You're gonna have to go to somewhere like a public library or something like that. Which, when I tried to study in the public library, it didn't. It didn't happen. You know it was because you never know but...

Amira Singletary: 32:53

I can say—. My sociology teacher, she let me bring him with me to school.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 32:58

That's awesome.

Amira Singletary: 32:59

She let me bring him. I brought him with me three times. Three times he sat in the class, he observed, and we went home.

Babette Faehmel: 33:09

It's—. Yeah. I mean—. And honestly, I never asked if this is okay, because it just figured to me that it is okay. Because I mean, where I went to school—University of Massachusetts— one of my history professors, she was a young mom. And she just had her kids strapped like in a—I don't know what these things are called...

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 33:34

Sling thing.

Babette Faehmel: 33:35

Thank you.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 33:36

I don't know.

Babette Faehmel: 33:37

Yeah, exactly. And she would lecture, and she would have a baby on her. It would be no distraction. I mean it would be totally fine. But why—if they can accommodate that in a research university—why not in a community college, right? So, it makes no sense. Especially considering that it's so key that people get, like, their certificates, their associate degrees, it's just such a—. That's the pathway to having a middle-class standard of living. That's a high goal, even, right? But just like good work, good job, a fulfilling career for yourself and then also to be able to provide for your family. That's like building the future. So, it has to be here. Now I'm going to be well...preachy.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 33:28

You would think it has to be here. But hopefully someday. So, you know...

Babette Faehmel: 33:32

Yeah. I mean. So, there are some things that are hard to fix. Maybe some things are easier to just change. I mean, aside from, like, the lack of childcare and the need for more transparent information easily accessible for students who are parents, what else would you say are barriers or hurdles or annoyances?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 35:00

I would just say the stress of it all. That's very hard, you know. I mean, it makes you stronger. Air quotes around stronger, in a sense. Emotional trauma—no. (Laughs.) But you know it's a very stressful position to be in. I'll probably find that out later in life how much stress I put myself through. But you know, I just keep thinking, you know, it's going to be worth it, and, you know, you have a plan. You're going to stick with it and your son is going to see you, and he's going to see you doing this. He's going to grow with you while you're doing this, and he's going to have that role model. But, you know, yeah, it's very stressful. (Laughs.)

Babette Faehmel: 35:47

Okay. So, something where you can—like, something that helps you deal with that stress. Or, I mean, like, what would that look like?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 33:55

Something that helps me?

Babette Faehmel: 35:57

Yeah. I mean, like, how do we, like, lower the stress?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 34:01

How does the college help?

Amira Singletary: 36:02

I can't see that.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 36:04

Well...actually... You know, I just had an appointment with Miss King, the therapist, and it went really good actually. I was like, ‘wow.’ Cause I never went to therapy before or anything. And, you know, in psych she kept saying it, so I was like you know what—. And we did that one test. It was like—I don't remember what the test was called—but basically it told me how stressed out I really was. And I had high...

Amira Singletary: 36:34

Oh, the MMPI?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 36:36

I think it might have been that. Yeah, so it told me how stressed I was. It was during the health section that we learned. And I was like, ‘oh my gosh, I don't want to have a heart attack, so I'm going to start taking care of myself. ‘Cause, really, like with this mental battle that you're fighting, it affects you physically and you don't realize that until you've already strained yourself out. So, I don't want to strain myself out.

Babette Faehmel: 37:05

No.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 37:06

Having a therapist on school is very good.

Babette Faehmel: 37:12

Yeah. Unfortunately, we only have one.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 37:17

Right.

Babette Faehmel: 37:18

For—. And that's not—. And that's actually, I think, this is fairly typical for SUNY schools. I mean there are places that don't even have one full time.

Amira Singletary: 37:28

You know what I like that they do? All little—like the block party that they had. Stuff like that. Even though we can't—I can't always go to everything, but stuff like that. Just a break, something that is not schoolwork.

Babette Faehmel: 37:42

And that you can go to on your schedule or even bring your kids.

Amira Singletary: 37:47

Yeah.

Babette Faehmel: 37:48

Yeah. No, I remember years ago we had a, like a movie night for parents and we were showing Mulan. And we had it advertised. Yeah, it was like years, years ago, um like two years before covid or three years before covid yeah and that and that was like, um, like there was a big thing. I was like were like students who were parents were talking about it like a week in advance.

Amira Singletary: 38:15

The kids love to come. My kids love coming here. They love it.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 38:19

Yeah, my son loves coming here too. Because when we—. My mom, a lot of times, she'll meet me here. Well, on days that I have to be to work, she'll meet me here. And I still have class while I'm at work. So, she'll meet me here and when we're pulling up, he'll be like, ‘oh, we're at your school.’ I'm like, ‘yeah.’ He's like, ‘can we go um walk around?’ I'm like, ‘well, you have to ask grandma.’ But we also go to the trail here, as well. So, he loves coming here. This is fun.

Babette Faehmel: 38:53

Did you see the—whatever it is, tweet or whatnot—about the outdoors fitness facility that's going to be created?

Amira Singletary: 38:58

Yes.

Babette Faehmel: 39:00

Yeah. Over there where the trail starts, I believe it is. So that's done. That would be even better, right? Because then, like, the community—. Like, because I think it's open to the entire community, so students who are—and their kids and everybody—. So, that would—. I'm looking forward to that but it's gonna, like, be a while before it's being created. It's probably not going to be open this summer but I don't know about that because I don't remember.

Amira Singletary: 39:26

It should be less work than a library. It should be less work than the library, than when they built Begley Hall. It should be less work than that.

Babette Faehmel: 39:35

Another thing that students seem to need for success and for completion was that there were a lot of students who said meeting other students who are parents was gold. That was, like, super, super important, because then I didn't feel like such an other in college.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 39:58

Yeah.

Amira Singletary: 39:59

That's true.

Babette Faehmel: 40:00

Is that—? Do you feel like—?

Amira Singletary: 40:01

I feel like because I'm an older student and I'm a parent, so when I see people like a mirror—it just—she makes me proud. I'm really proud of you.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 40:12

Thank you so much. Yeah, I agree. Just being able to have people in your class that are like you, you know that they are dealing with the same thing—you know, almost the same thing.

Amira Singletary: 40:26

And somebody that you can talk to.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 40:28

Yeah.

Amira Singletary: 40:29

Say, ‘my daughter was doing this today. Would you go through this with her? Can you help me?’ I ask Kim all the time. I ask her questions. ‘Help me.’

Babette Faehmel: 40:43

So, maybe, I mean we don't have a student—I mean, like a student club for parents. It might be not particularly the thing. But, I mean, I don't know. When we were having dinner with the—for the mentoring program the other day, Bucey, the other student who was there was a mom too. Like, it seemed to be, like, really meaningful to realize for her and for you that, hey, there's another one.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 41:11

Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, because I thought—honestly I didn't really know what to expect. And yeah, it's, like, refreshing having someone else to talk to that, you know, ‘oh, you have a kid too.’ Like, okay, like, I'm not an outsider.

Amira Singletary: 41:25

And they can understand your struggles.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 41:26

Yeah, exactly. And even when we first returned back to campus, it was like my first time coming to campus, since I failed the class fresh out of high school. So, I was so like—and, you know, through the pandemic I think I developed a sense of, like, social anxiety a little bit. So, I was really nervous, you know. And I—in my class I had a girl who was a parent also, and we just clicked. And we just started talking and like on our breaks we would just talk and talk and talk. I was like, ‘wow, okay,’ you know? It made me feel more comfortable being in school again, like, in the classroom.

Babette Faehmel: 42:05

I mean that shouldn't be too hard to realize to get together, like, maybe, I don't know, like a coffee clutch or like a dinner kind of thing—like a lunch and learn for students who are parents.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 42:20

Yeah, I agree.

Babette Faehmel: 42:21

Just for that.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 42:22

That would be very beneficial.

Babette Faehmel: 42:25

And that should not be too hard. And then also maybe we need to make better—I don't know. Like, I think you have to self-disclose when you are registering, or when you are, like, getting admitted to college. But I think there is—like it's up—yeah, you have to self-disclose that you are a parent, and then otherwise you're not even tracked. So, I'm not sure how good our data is on who is a parent. So, if you want to have like a mass emailing or whatnot or mass mailing about a community event. I don't even know if we get necessarily at all the students.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 42:06

Well, you know, I wonder sometimes ‘cause I know me personally being just—. I was a teen mom, so being a young mom, you know, people look at you funny. So, it's nerve-wracking sometimes telling people that you have a child. Yeah, so, I wonder if people maybe sometimes don't tell the truth. But then again you do get more money, I think, for financial aid when you do have a child.

Amira Singletary: 43:35

You do. (Crosstalk.) It's not that you don't want to. It's just not something that you say.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 43:45

Yes.

Amira Singletary: 43:46

You come to school to do your work. You don't want somebody to look at you like, ‘oh she got kids.’

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 43:52

Right.

Amira Singletary: 43:53

I'm a student. I came to school to do what I came to do, not for you to know that I'm a mom or for you to know my business. I have... I came here for something and that's what I came to do. I don't know another way to say it. But as things come along and you realize that you can actually talk to your professor and say, ‘listen, my kids—my son got quarantined for 10 days I can't come to school. Is there any way we can work this out?’

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 44:23

Yeah.

Amira Singletary: 44:24

Then, you know, then you find out whether or not somebody is willing to work with you.

Babette Faehmel: 44:30

Exactly.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 44:31

Yeah, ‘cause I know I've had nothing but positive experiences here but there is discrimination against students with children—mothers—I don't know about fathers, I can't speak for fathers because I'm not one.

Amira Singletary: 44:44

I feel bad for you.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 44:45

But I have, you know, I have experienced some discrimination outside of school. I don't know if I should say it.

Babette Faehmel: 44:54

Oh please—especially if it's out of school.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 44:58

Just—. It's not, like, anything, like, that people probably don't even notice that they do it. But I'm in an internship, and there's me—I'm an intern—and there's another intern. And she's a conventional student at Union College and she gets, like, more opportunities than me. And I, like, you know, I work my butt off.

Amira Singletary: 45:23

They figure you won’t have time cause you’re a mom.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 45:25

Exactly.

Amira Singletary: 45:26

So, they just don't ask you.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 45:27

Yeah, exactly. You know, and I will—like, I make things work. You know, like whatever, I'm gonna make it work. Like, I'm very passionate about my education and getting as much experience as I can right now. So, and I was telling my mom about it, and she was like, ‘yep, you're gonna experience it your whole life.’ So, I was like, ‘I know.’ But it's just so—. It just doesn't make any sense because I am—like, I'm, an amazing student. And I'm, like doing so much work there and asking for more work too, and, you know, like asking questions and stuff. And I didn't think of it as, like, only because I'm a parent. But it—I also thought of it because, like, I'm at a community college as opposed to like Union College. Because I—like, there's been comments made about both. Like, you know, like microaggressions, so...

Babette Faehmel: 46:23

That's horrible. That's like sexism and classism, and you're going to show them.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 46:28

Exactly.

Babette Faehmel: 46:29

Which is also—. It's so—. It's completely proud—it's completely stupid because we just talked about the strengths and skills you acquire as a parent, as a young parent, and as a single parent, right? I mean, that's amazing. Like, I can't even keep a plant alive longer than like, I don't know, one season. So, it makes no sense and its super old fashion and it's super sexist.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 46:52

It is. I agree.

Babette Faehmel: 46:53

But it's also true. There's a mommy penalty for, for working women also—after, like, outside of college too. You are women who are working and who are mothers are assumed to not dedicate themselves—this is, like, implicit bias—with the same kind of, like, energy into their career than either a woman who doesn't have a child or a man. It doesn't matter if a man has a child. (Crosstalk.)

Amira Singletary: 47:27

It's even harder for you when you work in fields that are dominated by men.

Babette Faehmel: 47:29

Yeah, exactly. And that's an old-fashioned prejudice, but it's also still a reality.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 47:35

Oh, it's very much still a reality. And I had said it too, after my experiences, I had said, you know, I'm glad that I'm dealing with this right now and stuff, like—because, you know, I'd rather be who I am than...

Amira Singletary: 47:51

Who you were.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 47:52

No, I wasn't gonna say that. I'm trying to think of a way to put it. I'd rather be who I am and, like, going through what I'm going through than just have everything handed to me. Because I think people take a lot of things for granted, you know. And, you know, I had stuff handed to me when I was younger. But then I had to become an adult. And I don't have stuff handed to me. So, but—because when I am done with school and I am successful, I'm going to remember what I went through, and I'm not going to act like how people acted to me, you know. And I think that's very important.

Babette Faehmel: 48:32

I mean and you are already, like, a pretty awesome peer, mentor or, like, a role model.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 48:39

Thank you.

Babette Faehmel: 48:40

So, I mean it can only get better.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 48:43

Thank you.

Babette Faehmel: 48:44

So, yeah. No, I mean this is, like, the kind of, like, the maturity that you acquire that way. And also, I mean the, like, you just—. Like, okay. So, you are fairly young, you are returning student, but I mean the dedication, like, to keep up, to keep doing this every day, no matter what's going on in your life, is incredible. I mean, I know a lot of people who would have thrown the towel much earlier.

Amira Singletary: 49:14

I’ve thought about it.

Babette Faehmel: 49:15

So, that's an incredible skill and incredible quality to you as a student, as a future employee, that people just need to realize. It's just, like, there's just still way too much sexism in this country.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 49:31

Oh yeah. Maybe we'll get away from it someday, but not today, so... That's why, you know, that's why we need to put ourselves in a position to help get rid of it, I guess, or limit it.

Amira Singletary: 49:44

And to accept the help.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 49:45

Exactly.

Amira Singletary: 49:46

The other thing is to be willing to accept help from people. That's the hard thing to do as a single parent. It's very hard. Because you wake up, you make sure your family is taken care of. And it's—I don't know why it's so hard to ask for help—but for me it's the hardest thing to do.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 50:12

I think because, like, it makes you feel weak in a sense—for me. Like, because people see it as, like—. I've had my mom tell me before, ‘oh, don't tell them you can't go because of your kid.’ Like, because it's seen as, like—not a disability—but, like, a hindrance, you know, as opposed to, you know, empowering. And, you know, this is why I'm so strong and this is why I am doing what I'm doing.

Babette Faehmel: 50:45

Yeah, that's actually—it's interesting that you say it's not like a disability but something similar to that. Because I think I mean there's something to it, right? It's something that's seen as holding you back instead of making you stronger. Or also just as not holding you back, but just like—. Okay, so there might be certain things that you cannot do because you have a child, but we adjust for that for students with disability too. And because we realize we still want that quality in the room. We still want that student's thoughts and their input. So, we should definitely do that for parents, because ideally, all of us become parents at some point. Isn't that kind of like the model?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 51:34

Yeah, some people.

Babette Faehmel: 51:36

Yeah. I mean, the statistics should also show very clearly that this traditional family model is not the reality for most people.

Amira Singletary: 51:45

It hasn't been for a awhile.

Babette Faehmel: 51:47

For a long time. Exactly. And that's fine. I mean, we grow.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 51:56

Yeah.

Babette Faehmel: 51:57

And then plus then, I mean, like—but there's much more, like, I don't know, diversity and choices for the younger generation if we finally get rid of these old-fashioned things.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 52:07

Yeah, I agree. Moving away from the old-fashioned setting.

Babette Faehmel: 52:12

Yeah.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 52:13

I mean, you know, I already see so much difference from, like, the way my parents are, their mindset and my generation. And I haven't really seen much of the younger generation yet, but I can only imagine it'll get better, right? So, yeah. And then what? Being able to watch us and watch what we're going through and watch our classes? They're learning things that they're going to be—. Like, we are applying it to, like, our past situations. They're going to be able to apply it to...

Amira Singletary: 52:44

To the future.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 52:45

Yeah. The situations when they're put in the situations, you know?

Babette Faehmel: 52:50

Yeah. Absolutely. So, when—from the recommendations that I picked up on and, like, I don't know, when I was like looking at studies. Some of the recommendations include that the college-wide DEI efforts—so diversity, equity, inclusion—need to incorporate, like, a lens just specifically for students. On students—students who are parents, their needs, more of a, like, specific focus on that. And then also they were actually suggesting having a staff position for serving students who are parents and connecting them with resources and things like that. And what you were saying about Robin, I mean, somebody like that, right? Who's also taking care of your wellness and mental health issues.

Amira Singletary: 53:36

And somebody who can understand you, somebody who understands what you're going through.

Babette Faehmel: 53:40

Right.

Amira Singletary: 53:41

And can... empathize?

Babette Faehmel: 53:43

Empathize. Yeah.

Amira Singletary: 53:44

And not because—we don't want sympathy.

Babette Faehmel: 53:46

No, exactly.

Amira Singletary: 53:47

Somebody who's empathize with you. And just understand me. And be able to talk to me on a level where I'm not looking at you like, ‘lady, I got three kids at home.’ Yeah, I (Crosstalk.)

Babette Faehmel: 54:02

Right. And then, I mean—. Also, recommendations include to change policy, like, certain kind of policy. And there are policies that are accessed on different levels. So, you have classroom policies that are in your syllabus and things like that, and you have campus-wide policies, and some of it is non-negotiable because it comes down from the state or from SUNY. But what would you say would be family-friendly policies that are in the classroom?

Amira Singletary: 54:27

I can honestly say I don't really want to change the things about the kids in class, because not all kids are as well-behaved as my children.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 54:36

Right. Exactly. (Laughs.)

Amira Singletary: 54:39

So, I don't know. I don't think that's something—because I don't know how. But you can't include everybody. You can't say bring your kids to school and then tell Susie, whose kid is off the wall, leave that baby home.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 54:57

Right. Yeah. I agree. I don't think kids in the classroom is, like—having everybody's kids in the classroom is, like, a thing that should be done, but I don't know.

Amira Singletary: 55:09

If you need to, okay. But you should be able to have some semblance of control over your child if you're going to bring them to school. You should be able to—your kids should be able to sit quietly or there should be something for them to do. Let them color. Sit down in the corner.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 55:25

Like a kid's corner. (Agreement.)

Babette Faehmel: 55:28

Well, that's once again back to that insurance policy that the individual instructor could not influence, right? But I mean individual instructors are in control of their syllabi and their class-level policies. So, is there anything that you could think of that would be family friendly?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 55:48

I don't know about policy-wise. I love—I think you did it in your class, Babette.

Babette Faehmel: 55:57

What did I do?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 55:59

Was it an extension?

Babette Faehmel: 56:00

Oh, the extension.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 56:01

Some teachers will give you like an extension or like a dropped quiz or something—a test or something like that. I think that works well. But I don't know about policies, honestly. Because anything that I think of, like, really it wouldn't work.

Amira Singletary: 56:19

Cause I wouldn't want somebody to look at me differently because I am a parent.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 56:22

Yeah, exactly.

Amira Singletary: 56:23

I just want you to understand that I am a parent, and I may not always be able to do what somebody who is not a parent can do.

Babette Faehmel: 56:36

At that time—at the same time. But you can still do it—some other time, right? Yeah, exactly. Like, more flexibility without letting go of the expectations and standards—the high standards, right? You don't need, like, a lower bar.

Amira Singletary: 56:52

Right. Don't drop the bar. Just let me climb the stairs or walk around and then get to the bar.

Babette Faehmel: 57:00

Exactly, exactly. So—and that would still yield the same results and the same success. I agree, that would be lovely. And then also, I think, another thing that is totally doable is to find ways to make campus events more parent friendly where you can then bring your kids.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 57:21

Yeah. Cause honestly—I didn't know what was happening at the block party, but I was like, ‘oh,’ you know, ‘I would bring, but I I'm not gonna bring Amarion to axe throwing,’ you know, because that's what it was.

Amira Singletary: 57:34

It wasn't a real axe.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 57:35

It wasn't?

Amira Singletary: 57:36

No, it was a Velcro.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 57:38

Oh. That's no fun. (Laughs.) No.

Amira Singletary: 57:40

It's fun.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 57:41

It probably is fun. I've been wanting to do axe throwing for a while, but...

Babette Faehmel: 57:46

Yeah. Who do you talk to make these kinds of things happen more often? Who was organizing that? Was it SGA?

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 57:51

SGA probably. Or like any club really can organize an event. Like, it just—I think it just depends on whoever's organizing it. Like, if I wanted to organize an event, I could, but I'm tired. (Laughs.) No, I do want to. It's the end of the semester, you know, like, it’s...

Babette Faehmel: 58:11

It is the end of the semester.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 58:13

It's crunch time right now.

Babette Faehmel: 58:14

Exactly. So, that is going to be your priority because you are focused.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 58:20

Yes, exactly.

Babette Faehmel: 58:21

Laser focused. Okay. Awesome. Well, I think our sound engineer also needs to focus on her wellness and her life outside of school. So, let's wrap this up. Any final thoughts, final words? How about you? No, you're good. This has gone on for long enough, let's go.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 58:47

I think this was really good, and it felt good to be able to talk and know that someone's going to listen, you know...

Child 2: 58:52

I like this school.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 58:52

...because you know these things, I've never heard any college talk about stuff like this before. I think it's important. It's an important discussion.

Babette Faehmel: 59:01

It is important.

Amira Tracy Stevens-Salih: 59:02

And thanks for, you know, bringing it up and bringing us together for it.

Babette Faehmel: 59:05

Well, thank you, Amira Tracy (Amira Singletary corrects pronunciation) and Amira Singletary. (Amira Singletary corrects pronunciation again.) Right, exactly. Hold on. Where's the list of guests of honor? Aliyah, Ameen and Amillian. Ok, perfect. Thank you so much. Thanks to the School of Music, and especially Sten Isachsen and Michaela Stay, for making possible the recording, mixing and editing of this episode. Many Voices, One Call is made possible thanks to the financial support of the SUNY Schenectady Foundation and because of assistance and contributions by the REACH Initiative Leadership Team, the Student Mentoring Program, the Student Government Association, and the Student Activities Advisor.